What to Do When Your Husband Belittles You: 15 Tips

Your husband is someone you love and share your life with. But sometimes, or in some cases, he may throw demeaning comments at you in private or even in public.

You may have tried to put up with such antics for some time, thinking it was temporary. But now, you cannot find a solution to what to do when your husband belittles you.

After all, constant belittling can affect your mental health, and you might end up in an unhappy marriage. You might feel suffocated and dejected. On top of that, his behavior may be becoming overbearing for you.

Does this sound familiar? Then read on to know what to do when your husband belittles you and other related facts.

What is belittling behavior in a relationship?

Before jumping to what to do when your husband belittles you, let’s check what is belittling in a relationship.

You may consider it a type of mental or emotional abuse. The individual might openly shame their partner and tell them that they are incompatible in something or some task. On top of that, they may also say that they are making their partner grateful by putting up with foolish behavior.

It is a way of making the partner feel insignificant to cut down their confidence. It may also be a kind of manipulation.

A person may often use belittling comments to manipulate the other one into making them more dependable on someone so that the person loses confidence.

As per research, this demeaning behavior in a relationship often affects women, and they become isolated and more prone to depression. But it may affect men too. 

What does it mean when your husband belittles you?

So, what is belittling behavior from your husband? It comes down to a few things said by them that make you feel small, insignificant, or like you are not good enough.

These comments may seem simple and harmless at first. But, in reality, these all are methods of how a husband belittles his partner.

 Here are some more signs of belittling from your husband-

• The person questions and criticizes your choices and tries to change them forcibly
• Your husband tries to control what you say or what you want to do in public
• He openly says to others that you will not understand their point
• He seemingly advises you but only uses insulting comments.

So, if your husband thinks you are not perfect or are not intelligent enough and constantly tries to change your personality, these are all signs of belittling.

This may be harmful, and you should not put up with any belittling comments from your husband.

Related Reading: 11 Tips for Living With a Husband Who is Always Putting You Down

15 ways to deal with public belittling behavior from your husband

So, what to do when your husband belittles you? You love the person. But, you are emotionally getting drained while trying to put up with his behavior.

He may have been doing this consciously or subconsciously. But you need to put your feet up and stop bearing with such unjustified things to ensure the relationship is healthy and peaceful.

Here are 15 tips on what to do when your husband belittles you.

1. Understand that it is a type of emotional abuse

Many people may often put up with belittling behavior by thinking that this behavior is normal. Others might put up with the abuse as they cannot read the signs.

So, it is time to understand belittling behavior. A partner always correcting me is not a healthy relationship, and you need to act to stop such abuse. Self-realization is enough to help you decide on your future course.

Related Reading: 50 Signs of Emotional Abuse and Mental Abuse: How to Identify It

2. Do not dismiss their comments

If you continue to dismiss their comments, they might do this more often. Even though their intentions may be pure, the way they are doing it might be harmful.

They need to understand what they are doing is wrong. But, if you continue to put up with their antics, they might continue to live with the wrong idea in their head.

So, instead of dismissing the comments, acting like talking to them or confronting them may help them correct themselves.

3. Go for a heart-to-heart talk

Wondering what to do when your husband belittles you? Go for a clear and heart-to-heart conversation with him.

Probably he never learned that his behavior is not ideal. A simple conversation may be helpful in this case.

Be patient and tell him that you love him, but his behavior takes the love away from you. A conversation may be enough to make him realize his mistake.

Here’s how you can have a heart-to-heart talk: 

4. Tell him that no one is perfect

Thinking about why does my husband always put me down? Well, probably, he is a perfectionist in nature. He may try to change you as it fits his mentality.

However, you need to tell him that no one is perfect, including him. It may help in some cases.

5. Confront him

The best thing you need to do is to question him directly. Openly telling him that belittling their spouse does not make a person great might make him realize his mistake.

Probably he thinks you are not perfect enough. You may make him understand that this behavior is not good and that he may be losing his connection with you.

If your spouse turns manipulative, you may stop this bullying behavior by confronting him. So, probably he will stop it altogether.

Related Reading: How to Recognize and Handle Manipulation in Relationships

6. Give him back his own medicine

Probably he needs to understand what is belittling behavior towards you. So, it is time to give him a dose of his own medicine.

Please take note of his behavior when your husband belittles you. Next time he tries to do so, openly tell him some belittling comments. He will visibly get hurt and sad.

You can then tell him that this is how he behaves and that it hurts you. Putting them in your shoes might help them understand this better.

7. Shut him down in the middle

Worrying why husband always correcting me in your head? Well, it is time to nip the bud.

You have been living with him. Hence, you already have an idea about how he belittles you. Next time he starts to humiliate or belittle you, shut him down in the middle. Openly tell him that his comments hurt you and that you do not deserve such behavior.

Related Reading: 6 Effective Ways to How to Stop Your Husband from Yelling at You

8. Ignore him

When he starts to hurl belittling comments, ignore his presence altogether. If you are eating out, eat quietly without giving heed.

If you are in a gathering, start a conversation with others while he continues to belittle you. He will become tired and stop.

9. Try using humor

Wondering about what to do when my husband belittles me in public? Use your best possible sense of humor. If possible, dark humor will also work.

Responding with a humorous connection might make his comments appear like a joke. He will not be able to shout over you or make his point while you have made the whole episode a funny incident.

Your husband will understand where things are going, and his comments are no longer effective. It can also help them to realize what he is doing is wrong.

Related Reading: 10 Reasons Why Sarcasm in Relationships Is So Damaging

10. Turn his attention to other things

If he constantly makes demeaning remarks, it is time to turn the attention on him to stop him. Ask him what he thinks you need to do or how he should work. Let him tell you in detail.

Then point out his mistakes to him. This procedure helps to turn his energy into explaining himself. Eventually, he will get tired and stop belittling you frequently.

11. Keep a calm attitude

Most people might get anxious and angry when their husbands belittle them in public. It is right to be angry or anxious.

But, try to remain calm and handle the situation with grace.

If you remain calm, he will slowly realize that his behavior will not work anymore and may even realize his mistake.

Related Reading: Why Does Ignoring a Guy Make Him Want You More?

12. Set a boundary

You are unable to bear his belittling antics anymore. You are looking for what to do when your husband belittles you. It is time to set a boundary to protect yourself.

It will stop you from feeling dejected and disrespected. On top of that, you will be able to focus on yourself to keep your emotional health in check.

Related Reading: Setting Healthy Boundaries in a Relationship

13. Thrive to do better

Some people might belittle their spouses to boost their egos. There are chances that men who are less successful than their partners might resort to this emotional abuse to feel good.

So, what to do when your husband belittles you? Just prove him wrong!

He is not someone who decides what you can do or what your ability is. Instead, build your personality and improve it to become more self-confident and successful.

If he realizes that he is wrong, he may stop altogether!

14. Consider seeking therapy

If nothing works, it might be time to get professional help. He may have some underlying problems and may need some counseling to understand what he is doing is not right.

Go for Couple therapy together. The therapist will help him navigate his mistakes to realize what is wrong or right.

15. It may be time to leave

You have tried everything but did not get any benefits. So, what to do when your husband belittles you or abuses you? Probably it is time to get a separation.

If he has been emotionally and even physically abusive, you need to protect yourself and your children. Getting a divorce may help in extreme cases.

If you do not want to get a divorce, you can relocate with your children to keep them away from you.

Why does your husband belittle you?

Many women ask, “Why does my husband always put me down?”-  to find out more about such behavior.

Well, there can be many causes like-

1. He experienced such behavior in childhood

Children who live with abusive parents often become abusive when they grow up. Probably he saw his father belittling his mother in his childhood. This may have made him think that what he does is normal and has made him an abuser.

2. He might be insecure

He is probably looking for a way to mask his insecurity. Instead of getting help, he has resorted to belittling you to himself for some satisfaction.

3. He might be a perfectionist

Perfectionists might try to do things in their own way. His belittling behavior may have caused him to question and criticize all of his choices.

How to deal with such behavior?

Well, putting up with such belittling behavior is not easy. You can confront him or talk with him about such behavior. You can also ask his friends or family members to help him realize his mistake. In some cases, professional help can also improve the situation.

Wrapping up

You may apply different methods for what to do when your husband belittles you. But first, try to find the root of the problem, and his demeaning behavior can decide what you may do.

You might also seek professional help to protect your mental health. The best way is to be patient and take each step carefully while solving this problem.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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